Using Youtube in the ESL Classroom: Karaoke and more

Youtube.  What would I do without you?  Where would I get my cute-things-doing-cute-things fix?  Where would I get to hear news segments in autotune?  And where else, pray-tell, can I watch 36 seconds of a baby eating a watermelon from the inside?

Youtube is a cool tool in the ESL classroom.  Here's how I used it.

Watching Short Student-Selected Youtube Videos

Sometimes, I let my students choose youtube videos to watch.  The idea was that they would talk about it, and then so would the rest of the class.  This didn't always work as well as I had hoped.  Oftentimes the kids didn't have much to say, or didn't want to say much.  I heard "I like it," quite a lot.  If I asked "Why?" they would say something like, "Because."  So much for student talk time...

And, they had some issues following the criteria for selecting a video.  Here were my guidelines: It had to be in English, it had to be less than 4 minutes, and it had to be "appropriate".

No matter how many times I said it, there were a few kids (and classes) that always (and I mean always) chose something that broke one of the rules.

Here are a few examples:


The Fail Videos

These contain minimal English, aren't always appropriate, and are always so so long and excruciating to watch.  Basically, Fail videos consist of something terrible (usually physical) happening to someone.  I spent a lot of time having moral dilemmas with my eyes closed before closing the tab.

The Sad/Funny/Cute Baby Animal Videos

The sadder the better, so they can laugh and go "awww" at the same time.  And babies (animal babies, no less) totally speak English, right?  So it's educational.

The Really Disturbing Videos

If you didn't think the Fail videos were bad enough, try the Happy Tree Friends series.  One of my 8th grade classes was obsessed with it.  The first time they put it on, I had no idea.  It sounds so sweet, so innocent, but as you can see from the video above, it's not.  They played me, and then I threw up in my mouth, and reduced all of their grades by 1 point.

The list of youtube video offenders is endless: Best Of Family Guy compilations, Counter-Strike videos, and many many videos involving troll-face.




Including this one:


I never really got troll face.  I still don't.  But my students are all about ... it?  Him?  Hmm.









Karaoke!  

Karaoke is so much fun with younger classes.  Start with a group song that most people know.  Use songs with lyrics on the video in karaoke style, but don't use videos without vocals.  Many students need the vocals in order to sing along and to build their confidence.  My karaoke classes were like parties, we all had such a blast!  And we all know kids (and everyone, really) learn best when they're having fun.  I teach best when I'm having fun, too.

my 7th grade girls singing their hearts out

Prepare a list of go-to songs in case your class is quiet and no one steps up to the plate to choose a song.

Popular songs for my students included:

Rolling in the Deep - Adele
It's My Life - Bon Jovi
Let it Be - the Beatles
Coldplay - Paradise

Choose a song in their native language and try to sing it!  They will love this, and maybe, if you're lucky, they will help you.

This was my Hungarian song of choice:

Listening Activities with Music

I often turn to youtube for my listening activities (I will post some of these soon), and it saves on paper because the kids are able to see the lyrics visually.  The downside is that sometimes the lyrics are incorrect.  Also, while I am a fan of trees, I also think some kids function much better with a piece of paper to hold.  It also gives them a place to write notes and translations, if they need to.


Cute, Funny, or Controversial Clips

I show cute or inciting video clips.  This ranges from anything between a gay marriage stance to the baby eating the watermelon from the inside.  Why?  Either to prove a point, illustrate an accent, spark a debate (ha ha ha, yeah right), or just share something ridiculously funny/cute.

Grammar Points

If you are looking for videos to help you teach grammar points, check out this guy's blog.  He has tons of grammatical lesson plans that go with movie clips, all of which you can find on youtube.

. . .

I'm curious how you all use youtube and videos in the classroom, and if there are any particular videos you found that went over well in the classroom.  I'm also always happy to see any cute or funny videos you want to send my way.  As long as it's not Happy Tree Friends.

Ode to Teaching English in Hungary

School starts tomorrow in Szeged, only this time, I'm not there.

Looking back on my time as an ESL Teacher in Hungary, I don't know how I survived.

198 students.  4 schools.  Language barrier.  Lack of formal ESL experience.

But then, I remember these faces, and I know how I made it through.  Fueled on the smiles of these kids, lit by their light, their spirit.

  

There were days I sat on the desk, legs swinging as I sighed and bit the inside of my mouth, just waiting for the yelling to stop.

There were moments of quiet work, or confident conversation.

My students wore blindfolds, created mazes from desks, and gave directions.

We sang karaoke (popular songs: It's My Life by Bon Jovi and Rolling in the Deep by Adele) and played games.  I have never played so much Pictionary.  I have never had so many conversations about 'free time activities.'  And don't get me started on hangman.

I have mixed feelings about teaching, as you may have deduced if you've been reading for awhile.  The "agenda" makes me uncomfortable and frankly, teaching is hard.

But one thing I have no mixed feelings about?  The kids.

So this year I am gone from their lives, but I will always remember the year we spent together, chair-hurling and all.

Because how can you do anything but love faces like this?

Telling the Story, Dropping the Story

"Beware of the stories you read or tell; subtly, at night, beneath the waters of consciousness, they are altering your world."  ― Ben Okri 

River of Words by Tan Shu Huey

So here is the story I have been anxious to tell because I don't want to get too identified with this part of existence.  I know we all have stories, and part of me loves to tell them.  It feeds my need for connection and playing with words, the poetry of it; it also feeds my ego, something I am letting go hungrier all the time.  

I want to live beyond names, labels, and identification.  I don't want to be anything with a capital letter: Adventurer, Teacher, Victim.  

Speaking of which, I'm not.  A Teacher, I mean.  Not officially anyway, because I quit my job.

It was a decision that was made, somewhere deep inside of my body and consciousness, a long time ago.  It was a decision that I nearly spoke in June at the Principal's office, and then actually spoke in July.  It came from my heart, the only place I know to trust.

And this is the only true practice: following the heart.  I once heard that, "If you lived in your heart, you'd be home by now."  Beautiful, yes, amen.  But like every piece of wisdom I hear, I just want someone to tell me how.  

Sometimes I am such a demanding human being.  I want direction and guidance, I want decisions to be made for me, I want validation and affirmation from the universe.

Only, as soon as I quit, I didn't feel the immediate rush of relief.  Instead, I felt doubt and dread and panic.  Thanks a lot, universe.  Some help you are.

I was making myself sick just chewing on the question of quitting or not quitting, and then once I resigned all in one rush, the mind revved its engines: Did you quit to escape the feelings of indecision?  What about the kids?  You can be unhappy anywhere you go, you know.  Maybe if you go back things will change, you will change.  What did I do?  What will I do?

Other stories started.  The ones about what I would do next, and how cool I am for quitting and getting free and starting something new, or how selfish I am for leaving the kids, or how about just how utterly fucking lost I am.  But amidst the clatter and back-pedaling and stomach acid there was a steady beat that anchored me.

My own heart.

Can I just tell you something real quick?  There is something so magical about following your heart.  I highly recommend it.  Sadly there is no guarantee things get easier or anything like that, no fast-track ticket to enlightenment, but there are other perks.  Like, knowing you are following your heart.  It's good stuff.

So that's what I am doing, and I am not sure, in this moment, where it will take me.  Deeper, probably.

For now, I am back in Szeged, experiencing a strange kind of paralysis.  It is my home and not my home.  I don't love it or hate it, although I am aware that to feel one or the other might make this experience exponentially easier or more difficult. 

Kathryn unpacks while I pack, and mostly make piles of things to give away.  I don't know what I am packing for, but I have a vision, and a week or so to let the direction come.

Everything seems to be up in the air, including me, but it's cool up here, so expansive.

And the future?  I can't make out the picture entirely, but it's looking pretty bright.

Enough words and stories for now.

www.internationalrivers.org

'

I have used up all
of my river.
Nothing is left but the stones.

Oona Lyons

A Trip to the Principal's Office

I was inches from quitting.  

The principal sat at the head of the table, Kathryn on my right, and our contact teacher and translator fidgeted across from us.

It would feel good, I told myself.

This time the room was cooler, air conditioning whirling faster than my mind.  My eyes were red, cheeks as well, and I was mortified that he might think I had been crying on his account.

Many at the school seem to fear the principal, but me?  Nope.  And I get the sense that he can feel this, and it doesn't float his boat, it revs his engine.  I think he expected dissidence, but that's not my thing.  I have spent a long time trying to be small, but not now.  Either way, in my humble (and diplomatic) opinion, he is all growl and no groin, if you catch my drift.

So we are sitting there, and I can't even listen to what he is saying, his words coming through our contact teacher.  I think about quitting.  Two things are circling my head like a caged bird, squawkingly frantic: 'Why would I stay here?  I am not happy.'  It is not my life anymore, it is a movie, and I have dreamed up a new ending for myself: the phone calls to my family, the blog entry, even -- how drastic it would be, to quit.  I am either deeply unhappy or craving some kind of rush.  My mouth waters, I can taste it, the words I could say.  I swallow them, and they push the inside of my throat like small fists.


And then I am pulled back to the smooth table, where my hands probably shouldn't be resting.

We are here, in the principal's office, because of a 'miscommunication.'

Kathryn and I scheduled a trip to Greece for June 17th, two days after school lets out.  The principal found out, and informed our contact teacher that because we extended our contract, we were obligated to stay in Szeged for the first two weeks in June to be on-call, as the other teachers do.  Teachers who are Hungarian and work on exams, I might add.

Was this work obligation mentioned when we signed the contract?  No.  In fact, the words 'There are no changes to the contract' were spoken.  He was apparently offended that we didn't ask him to take vacation time.  We had no idea we needed to ask, as we thought we were free after the 15th.

But there we were.  In a meeting.  Totally unprepared for what was about to come.


Basically, it went like this:

Principal: "How did the kids do this year?"

Me: "Uuuuhhh... it depends on the kid?"

Principal: "You need to substitute 40 hours unpaid throughout the next school year.  We gave you something, you need to give us something in return."

Me: "I don't understand what we would be doing for those 40 hours in June, as we don't work on exams.  What would we be doing?  When would we need to come in?"

Principal: "Nem tudom."  (I don't know)

Me: "Well, this puts us in a difficult situation, because if we had known we needed to stay, we would not have booked our tickets."

Principal: "You need to substitute 40 hours to make up for this time."

Notice there were no lines that went like, "I am sorry we didn't tell you," "We should have told you about this," or "We really should have translated the school's contract into English for you since you don't speak Hungarian."

It was just this: "You need to work the 40 hours."

It seemed pretty unreasonable since, in all likelihood, we would not be needed for those two weeks.  Our duties and capabilities do not go beyond the English classroom.  We are working in a Hungarian school system -- a language and a culture that we are not fluent in.

We went back-and-forth, trying to get information, and then I did something both the principal and I will always remember.

"The CETP [the organization we both work with] contract says that teachers only need to stay if there are exam obligations," I said, placing the contract on the table, "so I am confused about why we need to stay."

Apparently, you never, ever, ever pull out a contract during a meeting with a Hungarian.

What happens?

A phone call to the CETP Hungarian head lady, flailing arms, fire spewing from ears, and a meeting adjourned.  Essentially, we were kicked out of his office.


This is when the crying started.

Amidst many phone calls to our CETP contact person (who informed me that, had I not missed the orientation [due to my late placement], I would have known how better to handle the situation, because you 'can never debate with a Hungarian') and unsolicited advice from other teachers at the school, I stood in front of the window, tears sliding down my cheeks.

I saw one of my co-workers on the park bench, smoking.  The trees were sweet.  I imagined their long branches tenderly dabbing jasmine perfume on the trunks.  The birds sang, oblivious.

I didn't know if I wanted to stay.  I didn't know if I wanted to what was needed in order for me to stay and survive.  Appeasing to the principal?  Adjusting to never knowing what is happening at school, being forgotten, being informed of an extra class 5 minutes before it begins?  I felt pretty sure I was capable of making these changes (I knew I needed to be the one to change instead of expecting the situation to change, since I had tried that for the last few months, and it wasn't working), but here's the thing.  I didn't know if I wanted to make those changes.  How much of myself would I have to sacrifice in order to do this job successfully?

Hearing from another teacher confirmed my suspicions that our positions are, in a way, resented.  She mentioned that the other teachers might feel uncomfortable if they knew we had the time off and they didn't, especially because our flat and the utilities are paid for, we work less than the other teachers, etc.  And I found out that when we have asked the vice principal for time off in the past, other teachers have covered for us, unpaid.  I had no idea this was happening, and it just added to the sour lurch in my stomach.

I felt a little bit wounded about the whole situation.


It seems to be a reoccurring theme: being left in the dark.  Not being aware of something until after the damage is done.

But I also felt a little bit spiky, resentful, self-righteous even.  The nature of our positions are different than other teachers.  We signed different contracts, we have different job descriptions.

We were also reminded (or told; it did seem vaguely threatening) how good we have it in so many ways.  The exceptions that have been made for us (which, in my mind, do not count if we do not know they are exceptions!), the improvements on the flat, the list went on . . .

And this is where it got tricky.

I understand how blessed we are in many ways with this job.  However, the situation we found ourselves in that day?  Not on my list of gratitudes.  For me, one positive thing does not cancel out a negative.

I also think that comparisons between us and other teachers is a bit too apples-and-oranges.

But, I understand the tenderness of these issues from a cultural sensitivity perspective.

So what was I supposed to do?

How much was I supposed to sacrifice for cultural sensitivity's sake?


After speaking with our CETP contact person, we were informed that we needed to work the 40 hours for beaurocratic reasons.  Because we are technically teachers like everyone else (although let me tell you that in reality, this is sooo not the case) we have to work those 40 hours so that the paperwork is on the up-and-up.

Why wasn't this mentioned in the meeting?

The meeting turned sour so quickly, and looking back, I can see many ways it could have been avoided.  Of course, many of them have to do with the principal changing his ways and not me, so already I am a bit suspicious of my own big ego.

This new information is a bit of game changer, and neutralizes the situation, but for me it's already too late.  At this point, I am still crying in the teacher's lounge.  My calendar is double-booked: work crisis and existential crisis.  I need to find a new secretary.

Our contact teacher keeps touches my shoulder gingerly and tells me, "Don't be stressed."  Her eyes are wide and flicking around my face, as if searching for something.

She also breaks the cardinal rule of Having Contact with Someone when They Cry, which is: "Thou shall not hug the crying person AND ask them to stop crying at the same time."  Everyone knows that if someone hugs you when you are upset, you will just cry more.  There are even studies.  Like, all of the times I have studied what happens when people hug me and I am upset.  The statistics are frightening.  I should really make a pie chart.

Trying not to cry in the finance office as we gather paperwork, I realize how ridiculous it is.  My contact teacher tells me not to cry, and I think, "Are you really going to do this your whole life, Jess?  Not have your feelings?"  Damn, I was asking myself good questions.

So this is what I told my contact teacher: "I know it is not a good time or place, but I just need to cry."

Because, as usual, my tears were not really about just one thing.  As usual, the situation found a tender spot in me and started poking at it until the hurt underneath it released.


I am not ready, but we are back inside his cool office.

I can't hear or process anything because the bird is still circling.


Salt is in my mouth, pebbles in my throat.  The idea of quitting coats my tongue.  My eyes sting and my insides buzz.

I told myself I would just come in and see what happened.  If I needed to quit, I would.  If I needed to cry or scream, I would, even though I was really hoping not to.


I think he says something like, "There was a misunderstanding, but you understand now."  It is not even a question.

"Now," Kathryn says in Hungarian, the word rolling its eyes in her mouth.

He keeps speaking, words coming through our contact teacher.  He takes no responsibility for the miscommunication, but he is glad we now understand.

"In Hungary, the verbal agreement is more important than the written agreement.  The problem is when someone gets out the paper."

It is quiet and awkward as a gulp.  You should have seen my face: the very picture of guilt and chagrin.  The principal has just made a dig at me for getting the contract out.

I start to ... explain myself? defend myself? but then I double back and go with "Semmi," it's nothing.  Which it isn't, but I can't think of anything to say that he is willing to hear.

The other thing that is totally hilarious?  There was no verbal agreement (or information, even) about us needing to work in June!

And for the grand finale, he asks us if we will agree to the 40 unpaid hours of substituting.  We say yes.  And then he says: "I do not want to write it on the contract so this will just be a spoken agreement."

Why did I say yes to this?

Who knows, but keep reading, and maybe you will find out.  Hopefully I will too.

Easy Peasy Lesson Plan: Imagine If Game

Imagine If

We made "Imagine If" cards last week, based on this game, where you vote on what you imagine someone would be if they were an invention/crime/cartoon character.  It has been a blast to play with our students!  If you don't have the game, don't worry -- it is very easy to re-create.

Grades: Primary - High School.  One group of my 8th graders was resistant when I explained the game, but after we started to play, they had so much fun.  I haven't tried it with high schoolers yet, but I believe that with modified cards some of my classes would be into it.

You need: Index cards and a pen.  That's it.

Our cards look like this:

Imagine if I was an animal that could fly.  Which flying animal would I be?
Sparrow
Hawk
Pigeon
Parrot
Eagle

To make other cards, simply replace the italicized text with another prompt.

Some of the other cards we created were, "Imagine if I was a/an..."
texture
taste
drink
invention
electronic
in a movie
musical instrument
season

Here is how the game works:

One student (Student A) comes up in front of the class and reads the card aloud to the class.
Each student writes down their vote of what they think that student would be.
Student A votes too, but keeps the vote secret.
When everyone has voted, each student reads their vote, and Student A reveals their vote.
Any student that voted for the Student A's choice gets a point.
Student A gets as many votes as students who voted for his/her choice.

For example, if Student A voted for 'hawk' and 5 students in the class voted for 'hawk', each of the 5 students would receive 1 point, and Student A would receive 5 points.

Reflection:


This is a very fun and revealing game in how well students know one another, and how they perceive each other.

Talk time is high!  Students are reading the card, repeating the choices, and even facilitating the game in some cases!  To my amazement, some of my classes orchestrated the game themselves without direction from me.

I imagine that some students could even work together to create the cards.

---

Have fun and as always, let me know how this works for you.

Easy Peasy Lesson Plans: Personality Quiz

Hello dear readers.  I am starting a new feature.  Once a week I will write about an easy peasy lesson plan that has been successful for me, and that I hope will be successful for you as well.

Scouring the internet for lesson plan ideas is like bra/shoe/toaster shopping.  It can take a long time before you find something close to perfect, and even then adjustments must be made.  On that note, I hope this will be helpful for all of you ESL teachers out there!

---

Personality

Grades: 8-11, possibly some 7th graders

You will need: some English-Native Language dictionaries, personality quizzes and result pages (see the bottom of the post)


1. Brainstorm "Personality" on the board


- what is a personality? (translate to native language, what someone is like, personal characteristics, personality traits)

-CCQ (concept check question, meant to ensure understanding) personality using students in class (what is Roli's personality like?  do you think Fanni is shy?) and/or celebrities.

- where does our personality come from? (family [genes or influences], friends, life experiences, our surroundings, zodiac signs)


In some classes I asked each student to list a personality trait.


Another idea is to challenge the students to a competition -- students work in pairs and write as many personality traits as they can.



2. Take personality quiz
I went around as the kids filled out the surveys, offering help as needed.


3. Calculate your score


4. Read and discuss results
The students read their results, and translate words as necessary.


I talked to the kids about their results.  Did they agree?  Which parts were true of their personality? Which parts were untrue?  If they didn't agree, was there a different personality description that fit them better?


We also compared results, and I asked them what they thought of their classmates' results.


If you would like a more structured lesson (or to ensure your students actually understand their results and are not just agreeing without knowing what they are agreeing to), you could have the students translate their result (younger or less advanced students can translate the adjectives), and/or list what was true and not true for them.


It would also be fun to compare the results in the class on the board using a graph, and look for parallels.  I did this activity shortly after a lesson on Zodiac signs, and it could be interesting to compare zodiac signs to these personality results.




Reflection:
Every class has loved this lesson!  I have done this with 8th, 9th, 10th, and 11th graders.  I think it appeals to adolescents especially as they are developmentally quite self-centered and focused on self-discovery.

Speaking levels were higher than usual!  And . . . finally, relevant vocabulary!

One more thing: make sure to stress that this is not an actual "test."  One of my students, upon calculating her score, changed all of her answers so that she would get the highest score.

---

1. When do you feel your best?

a. In the morning
b. During the afternoon and early evening
c. Late at night

2. You usually walk

a. Fairly fast, with long steps
b. Fairly fast, with short, quick steps
c. Less fast, head up, looking the world in the face
d. Less fast, head down
e. Very slowly

3. When talking to people you

a. Stand with your arms folded
b. Have your hands clasped
c. Have one or both your hands on your hips
d. Touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e. Play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with

a. Your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b. Your legs crossed
c. Your legs stretched out or straight
d. One leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with

a. A big, appreciative laugh
b. A laugh, but not a loud one
c. A quiet chuckle
d. A sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you

a. Make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b. Make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c. Make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted. Do you..

a. Welcome the break
b. Feel extremely irritated
c. Vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a. Red or orange
b. Black
c. Yellow or light blue
d. Green
e. Dark blue or purple
f. White
g. Brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie

a. Stretched out on your back
b. Stretched out face down on your stomach
c. On your side, slightly curled
d. With your head on one arm
e. With your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are

a. Falling
b. Fighting or struggling
c. Searching for something or somebody
d. Flying or floating
e. You usually have dreamless sleep
f. Your dreams are always pleasant

Add up your points using the table below:

	A	B	C	D	E	F	G
1	2	4	6
2	6	4	7	2	1
3	4	2	5	7	6
4	4	6	2	1
5	6	4	3	5
6	6	4	2
7	6	2	4
8	6	7	5	4	3	2	1
9	7	6	4	2	1
10	4	2	3	5	6	1

Analysis

Over 60 points: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care" You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 to 60 points: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 to 50 points: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 to 40 points: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

21 to 30 points: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

Under 21 points: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

The Truth about Teaching

After 45 minutes of agony with my 8th graders, I walk next door into Peter's classroom to return the English-Hungarian dictionary that I borrowed.

"Was everything okay?" he asks.

Usually I lie, or downplay, but today I don't even smile.  "No."

"I thought so."

......

It is my first day back to school after a week of sick leave.

Maybe this is why I have less patience than usual.

Or maybe, it was Norbi, who hoisted his chair, ready to throw it at Tamás.

It's a good thing I am paid to run intervention.

Some days, I teach.

Other days, I swear under my breath and fantasize about throwing them out the window.

I could lasso them, I think, bundle them all together.

But that would take the pleasure out of tossing them one by one...

......

My voice is hoarse, and not just from yelling at children.  I am recovering from a throat infection, from days of being so sick I didn't leave my bed.  After doctor visits in broken English and hungry hours (2 of them, while I was fasting for my labwork) of waiting to give my blood and urine, I was diagnosed with a UTI.

Have you ever had one?

Don't do it.

It feels like (and pardon the imagery, but there is really no other way to put this) a dagger shoved up there.

If you have to do it, keep a couple of things in mind.  Don't schedule it at the same time as your menstrual cycle.  And do yourself a favor -- get up early enough to take the bus to work.  Or walk.  Yeah, do that.  Whatever you do, don't ride your bike.

It feels like a lot of things, none of them good.

......

Earlier in the day, I saw Peter in the teacher's lounge.  "Have you given the students grades?" he asked me.

At most of my schools, I give the students monthly grades and this factors into their overall grades for English.  At this school, on my first day, Peter told me that I could give them grades if I wanted to, but that I didn't need to.  I didn't give them grades.  I have never given them grades.

Today, however, four weeks before school is out for the summer, I am asked to give them grades.

Can this be reason #3149 that my job is really hard?

That, and I was never given an official class roster for any of my classes.  Which means I don't know my student's full names.  Do you know how many Balazs' go to this school, only a couple of whom I teach?  Lots.  So how exactly am I supposed to give them grades?  Beats me, but apparently Peter is confident I'll figure it out.

Oh!  And can reason #3150 be that I teach a total of 198 (one-hundred and ninety-eight!!!!) students split between 4 (four!!!!) schools?

Thanks.

......


Quick!  I need summer!  And quite possibly shock therapy.

Teaching: Ranting, Raving, Cute Pictures, and a Video guaranteed to make you smile

Yesterday, if you had asked me about teaching (or even if you hadn't -- sorry Kathryn), I would have been ranting.  I was sweaty and seething after a day at the high school, just wrecked.  I taught five classes in a row, and it was just one of those days.  The whining was incessant.  The kids couldn't even be quiet during a movie.  In one class, instead of watching the movie, kids played mah jong and some kind of shoot-em-up game on the computers.  The violent tapping of keys and idiotic teenage chuckling was really getting to me, not to mention the talking.  Okay, if we are having a lesson and kids are bored, they start talking, I get it.  But this was a movie.  A movie.  Can't they at least sit quietly through a movie?  Shouldn't they be grateful I am showing them a movie?  

I went up to one of my kids, putting a hand on his shoulder: "A.  This is the only time I am going to ask you to do nothing the whole class.  Can't you do that?"  He couldn't.

...

After my tenth grade class, a student stayed in with me to show me a short video clip.  A 12th-grader in the hallway saw me in the classroom.  We often chat in the hall.  He has been known to say cute things such as "If I had your shoes, I would do the same."  [referring to my living and teaching in Hungary.]  Okay, so that is the only cute thing he has said, but it was pretty damned cute.

So, I saw him in the hallway and he called out to me: "She's crazy!" meaning the girl in the class with me.  The girl who could hear him.

I walked outside of the door.  He was grinning like an idiot.  Okay, that sounds mean to write, but it's an expression so you can picture this grin plastered on his face, right?  Anyway.  "Don't be a dick," I said to him, and shut the door.

...

On the bright side, I saw one of my tenth graders in the hallway and asked how his day was going.  "Sucky," he said.  He's one of the few students I talk to honestly about my hard days, and I told him my students were being buttheads.  He thought I meant that I anticipated that his class was going to be difficult.  "I will bring the energy," he told me.

True to his words, he walked in and said, "Hi Jess!  What's crackalackin?"

Oh I was so grateful.

But on a whole, my day was tough, and it got to me, as it does 75% of the time (and that might be a generous figure).  I was so frustrated with my students, with the Hungarian education system, with how out of the loop I feel, with the lack of communicated, the lack of motivation, the "joke" that my job sometimes feels like.

...

Today, on the other hand, after five classes in a row at the primary school, I love teaching.  

I am consistently, amidst my moments where I am saying to myself "Jump ship! Jump ship!" or muttering not-so-kind words under my breath, having small moments where I do silent fist-pumps and say to myself, "Yessss!  You kick ass!  You are a real teacher!"

Like this one:

7th grade class: B is working with D.  D is going to dictate sentences, from memory, to B.  B says: "This will be terrible.  D has a slow brain. He can not do it.  He will not know the words and he will have problem."  He has a smile on his face; he knows he is being a jerk.  "B," I say to him kindly and firmly, "if he has trouble, you will help him, because you are a helping kind of guy," and I walk away.  

I know he is helpful, and I know he is not cruel.  He has the potential to be kind and helpful.  It feels good to remind him of this.  To expect this from him.

Here are some peeks of the lessons this week.  One of the many perks of living with Kathryn is that we can share lesson plans.  She had the ingenious idea to do a lesson on taste, and this has been very popular with my 5th, 6th, and 7th graders.

First, we learn taste words in English and Hungarian.  

 Then, I introduce a food (we tasted dark chocolate, gummy bears, granola bars, wasabi peas, sour candy, pretzels, and cranberries) and the kids guess what it will taste like.

Next, we close our eyes and taste the food.  This is Milan's thinking pose.

 About to taste yummy gummy bears.

Laura is not sleeping.  She is in dark chocolate heaven.

I asked them to let the dark chocolate melt on their tongue.  After a moment, I told them they could chew the chocolate.  "No!" Laura cried out, her eyes still closed, savoring it.

After they guessed, and tasted the food, they wrote down what the food actually tasted like.

...

In one of my favorite seventh grade classes, we did a lesson about the post office today.  Here is a video of a post office role-play.  But before the video, I have to share this with you:

We were brainstorming about the post office, and I asked them: "Who works at the post office?"

"Post officers!"

...

transcript:

B: Hello.

R: I want some postcards.

B: Here is some. Choose one.

R: It's all ugly. Please give me some more nice.

B: Here that's all our postcards.

R: I want this one.

B: Okay, that's 1 pound.

B: Are you serious?

R: Yes.

B: 1 pound??

R: 1 pound.

B: I don't give it to you until you don't pay it.

R: Give it, please.  I will pay it.  I promise.

B: You promise?

R: I promise.

B: Are you serious?

R: I, I serious.

[Jess - call he police!]

B- Hi police.  He steal postcard from me.  ... Oh!  No, he is back.  He is going to pay.  

R: Here it is.  My invisible money.

B: Oh thank you.  It's a new technology.

Feelings and Fevers: In the Classroom

Spring is here, and so is spring fever.  I just want to be outside, and so do my students.

I had the hardest teaching day last week at the high school.  My 9th graders didn't seem human -- heads on desks, eyes blank, bodies itchy.  It was like talking to sacks of potatoes.  Or maybe that was just me, and it's all a projection, as usual.  In my 10th and 11th grade classes, we explored slang.  After my 10th grade class, which was chattier than usual, a student came up to me.  "This lesson was..."  He stopped talking, took a breath, and I braced myself for all kinds of negative adjectives, none of which I was in the mood to hear.  "Were we so annoying today?" he asked me.  I sighed.  "You know you guys are one of my favorite classes," I told him, "But sometimes you are so loud."  He looked at me with serious sparkling eyes, "Yes I know, but I don't know what we can do about it."  Sigh.  "I think you guys can be better.  I'm just having a bad day," I told him.

And this, so often, is what it comes down to.  I had 9th graders for two painstaking periods, and I let it get to me.  Then, I had my 11th graders, many of whom refused to participate, one of whom spent the whole class applying her makeup.  Then, by the time the 10th graders rolled around, I was kesz.  Finished.  Spent.

I need to not let challenging classes get to me.  I need to not declare a lesson to be a failure just because a couple of kids don't have it in them to participate.

We are humans after all.  We're all doing the best we can, and that is different from moment to moment, class to class, day to day.

I need to remember one of my students in 10a, who said the sweetest thing the other week.  At the beginning of our lesson, I saw that the kids were largely ignoring me and had their vocab out.  This means one thing: they had a test coming up.  I stopped what I was doing and asked them if they wanted to study for their test.  I offered to help.  But one of my students said to me, "No, Jessica, I want to do what you want for us to do."

It's not always like that, but it is sometimes, and that is what I should focus on.

Meanwhile, in primary school . . .

Today we talked about feelings in my 6th grade classes.  First, we reviewed feeling words in English and Hungarian.  The kids and I both love this part.  I love it because it really helps my vocabulary, and they love it because, well . . .  I think half of them love to see me fail, and half of them love to see my Hungarian improve.  

In a class last week with my 7th graders, we did a modified lesson with "Bieber Fever" and I was writing vocabulary related to being sick on the board.  After teaching this lesson about 10 times last week, I now know sick, snot, booger, fart, sneeze, tissue, headache, stomachache, sore throat, fever, puke, cough, flu, cure, prescription, and even diarrhea.   One of my students called out to me, "Your Hungarian is awfsome!"  (Awfsome is how he pronounces it.)  

Then there are the other kids, who come up to the board, erase the entire Hungarian word I wrote, and write it anew, just to add an apostrophe I missed.

It is humbling to be learning their language, and I think it helps them to see me struggle, to see me so confused ("Where is the D sound?!  Hungarian is crazy!"), and to see me trying.

Back to the feelings lesson . . .

After vocab review we built sentences and practiced "I am/I feel sad" and "She is/she feels sad."

The fun part was the relay race.

I divided the class into two teams, and taped photos depicting different emotions in the middle of the board.  The kids had to race to write complete sentences (i.e. "She feels bored") on the board next the the appropriate picture, and the first team to finish won.

The kids were into it, and I actually got some photos of the process.

A worksheet followed this relay race, giving the kids a chance to practice the vocabulary and sentence structure we practiced.

This lesson was successful all around!

Gems from the classroom lately:

Me: Don't you want to come up and play charades?

7th grader: No, no.  I am socially awkward pingvin [penguin].  --laughter--

Two of my 8th graders wrote this dialogue:

Doctor: Hello, what's your problem?
Patient: I've a diarrhea.
Doctor: Oh, you must drink a lot of fluids! And I write a prescription for you.
Patient: Hey. Who cut the cheese?
Doctor: Sorry. 

Bieber Fever

I am sick this week.  And it's not the Bieber Fever.  Something about being sick in a foreign country (even though this is kind of my home since I live and work here) is awful.  But it's kind of handy, because I am realia, as we say in the ESL classroom.  Kathryn and I created lesson plans about being sick and going to the doctor, and I am a real-life example of sore throat, cough, and misery.  

Being sick also provides a natural opener for the lesson plan.  The downside is I don't feel I have sufficient brain cells to teach said lesson plan.  Anyhow, this morning I wrote "I AM SICK" on the whiteboard and we went from there.  The students read this dialogue Kathryn and I wrote, and then wrote dialogues of their own. 

AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE

Doctor: How are you feeling today?
Patient: Uggghhhh.  I feel like dying.  I am miserable.  Kill me now!
Doctor: Hmmm.  Well that’s not my area of expertise.  Why don’t you go listen to Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber performing a duet together.  That should do the trick.
Patient:  That’s why I’m here.  I think I’m allergic to Ju-ju-.... I can’t even say it, but I can’t stop listening to his awful music!
Doctor: Oh dear.  This is worse than I expected.  We haven’t yet found the antidote for the Bieber Fever.  Let me examine you and take your temperature to see how badly you’ve been affected by this terrible disease.  One moment while I put on my protective body suit.  Can’t be too careful -- this is a highly contagious disease.
Patient: I should have listened to my friends. They warned me about the Bieber Fever, and told me to get vaccinated.
Doctor: Please open your mouth and say “Aaaahhh.”  … Hmmm.  It looks like your throat is swollen.  I was afraid of this.  Have you been singing along to Justin Bieber?
Patient: Ummm... well... ah...
Doctor: You can tell me anything.  Because of doctor-patient confidentiality, I won’t tell a soul.
Patient: Ok.  Well, yes.  I have been singing along to “Baby Baby.”
Doctor: Oh dear.  
Patient: Doctor!  Please help me!  I am in so much pain!  What can I do?
Doctor: I’m afraid it’s too late to get vaccinated, as you’ve already been infected by the Bieber Fever, but I can write you a prescription for some antibiotics and pain killers.  Please get lots of rest, drink plenty of fluids, and for God’s sake, STOP listening to Justin Bieber!
Patient: Thank you doctor!  You have saved my life!

Two of my students came up with these short dialogues, which have been placed (with their permission) into my ESL hall of fame:

Doc: Stay calm.  This operation will go easily.

Patient: Thanks doc.  This is my first operation.

Doc: Its okay.  This is my first operation too.

---

Patient: Am I able to play on the violin after the operation?

Doc: Sure.

Patient: This is amazing.  I've never been able to play on the violin.

---

One of my high school students told me: "Jessica!  We love you that hate Justin Bieber!" 

I love you guys too.

---

In my sixth and seventh grade classes yesterday, we also talked about being sick and they read a simpler Visiting the Doctor dialogue.  Here are some snippets from their dialogues:

Doctor: What's the problem?

Patient: I am deading.

...

Doctor: Hi.  How are you?

Patient: I feel sick.

Doctor: Really?  Why?

Patient: I don't know ....... you're the doctor!!

---

Fun fact of the day: In the U.S. we say "Achoo!" and Hungarians say "Hapci!"

Which do you think sounds more like an actual sneeze, or do you say something else entirely?