I am sick this week. And it's not the Bieber Fever. Something about being sick in a foreign country (even though this is kind of my home since I live and work here) is awful. But it's kind of handy, because I am realia, as we say in the ESL classroom. Kathryn and I created lesson plans about being sick and going to the doctor, and I am a real-life example of sore throat, cough, and misery.
Being sick also provides a natural opener for the lesson plan. The downside is I don't feel I have sufficient brain cells to teach said lesson plan. Anyhow, this morning I wrote "I AM SICK" on the whiteboard and we went from there. The students read this dialogue Kathryn and I wrote, and then wrote dialogues of their own.
AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
Doctor: How are you feeling today?
Patient: Uggghhhh. I feel like dying. I am miserable. Kill me now!
Doctor: Hmmm. Well that’s not my area of expertise. Why don’t you go listen to Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber performing a duet together. That should do the trick.
Patient: That’s why I’m here. I think I’m allergic to Ju-ju-.... I can’t even say it, but I can’t stop listening to his awful music!
Doctor: Oh dear. This is worse than I expected. We haven’t yet found the antidote for the Bieber Fever. Let me examine you and take your temperature to see how badly you’ve been affected by this terrible disease. One moment while I put on my protective body suit. Can’t be too careful -- this is a highly contagious disease.
Patient: I should have listened to my friends. They warned me about the Bieber Fever, and told me to get vaccinated.
Doctor: Please open your mouth and say “Aaaahhh.” … Hmmm. It looks like your throat is swollen. I was afraid of this. Have you been singing along to Justin Bieber?
Patient: Ummm... well... ah...
Doctor: You can tell me anything. Because of doctor-patient confidentiality, I won’t tell a soul.
Patient: Ok. Well, yes. I have been singing along to “Baby Baby.”
Doctor: Oh dear.
Patient: Doctor! Please help me! I am in so much pain! What can I do?
Doctor: I’m afraid it’s too late to get vaccinated, as you’ve already been infected by the Bieber Fever, but I can write you a prescription for some antibiotics and pain killers. Please get lots of rest, drink plenty of fluids, and for God’s sake, STOP listening to Justin Bieber!
Patient: Thank you doctor! You have saved my life!
Two of my students came up with these short dialogues, which have been placed (with their permission) into my ESL hall of fame:
Doc: Stay calm. This operation will go easily.
Patient: Thanks doc. This is my first operation.
Doc: Its okay. This is my first operation too.
Patient: Am I able to play on the violin after the operation?
Patient: This is amazing. I've never been able to play on the violin.
One of my high school students told me: "Jessica! We love you that hate Justin Bieber!"
I love you guys too.
In my sixth and seventh grade classes yesterday, we also talked about being sick and they read a simpler Visiting the Doctor dialogue. Here are some snippets from their dialogues:
Doctor: What's the problem?
Patient: I am deading.
Doctor: Hi. How are you?
Patient: I feel sick.
Doctor: Really? Why?
Patient: I don't know ....... you're the doctor!!
Fun fact of the day: In the U.S. we say "Achoo!" and Hungarians say "Hapci!"
Which do you think sounds more like an actual sneeze, or do you say something else entirely?